O.A.

Have you heard of Overeaters Anonymous? I first came across the organization when I was a freshman in high school. I borrowed a random book from the school library called "Passing for Thin: Losing Half My Weight and Finding My Self" by Frances Kuffel. I am not positive that Kuffel names OA specifically, but she does talk about an overeating support group and having a sponsor. Throughout high school I borrowed that book at least once a year. There was something comforting about hearing a grown woman's struggles with losing weight. Granted, I probably weighted around 190-210 lbs at the time, but I related to how this 313 lb. 42 year old woman.

The next time I heard of OA was about a year and a half ago. I was in a relationship that, while not BAD or abusive or anything, was not what it should have been. This began to make me second guess how I felt about myself for a while. After a couple months of looking at the organization's structure and beliefs I attended an online meeting. It seemed strange to hear people with issues just like me - complaining about how they felt different and strange in their own skin. I wasn't brave enough to go to an actual meeting though.

This past summer I visited California where OA and I crossed paths again. Someone very close to me, and not at all someone I would think of as having food issues appropriate for OA, mentioned it to me when I was visiting. I was shocked! This person is so tiny, but she was not always that way. We talked some about OA, but it is a very private thing for people..... after all anonymous is in the name. I truly appreciated what she had to share, and even read some of her daily readings. When I left California she gave me a small stack of literature about OA. I read it on the plane.

My last experience with OA was shortly after my summer trip. I attended another random OA meeting at 1 am eastern time. These meetings have people from all over the world in attendance. It is amazing! On this particular night I shared with the other people at the online meeting about something frustrating that happened while I was in California. I went on a trip to a beautiful island off of the coast of CA on my last full day. When we were riding over, I discovered there was a series of zip lines across the island. That sounded so fun to me! I love adventurous things and the zip line seemed right up my alley. When we got to the island I looked at a brochure and noticed there was a weight limit of 235 lbs. To get out of going on the zip line I had been so excited about, without pointing out that I weighed too much, I had to act like I was scared suddenly. It was pathetic and I am sure I did not fool my hosts, but I was so sad I could not do the zip line.

I shared this story with the other guests and was sent a private message from one of the people in attendance. She told me she really related to my story and asked if I had been to any face2face meetings. Then she asked where I was from. It turns out we are from the same town! Upon hearing this, the woman invited me to a f2f meeting the next day, just down the road from my house. I was so nervous and embarrassed, but I went and met the woman who had related to me so well online. It was a nice meeting, although there were only four of us and two of us were pretty new. I said I would go again, but I never did. I don't know if I was ready. I think I am ready now. I feel more ready than I ever have!

I am not an expert on OA or its beliefs. It is based on the 12 steps that Alcoholics Anonymous follows. This week will be my first week attending meetings since the summer. I am a bit scared and a lot nervous because the meeting I am attending is in a familiar area for me, but OA is a very quiet and private organization. I will be attending 1-4 f2f meetings a week and will try to also do online meetings when I do not have a f2f meeting to attend. If you are interested in learning more about OA and it's beliefs, please go to www.oa.org. You can find face2face, online, and even telephone meetings and a lot of resources.

Obviously I will not be able to share things that I HEAR at these meetings, but I will share what I talk about and how I am feeling. As I start this process I will also begin working on exercising regularly and food choices/portion control. I have also decided that I am going to weigh myself every two weeks. My first weigh-in was on 1/31 (even though I wrote about it a few days later). My next weigh-in will be on 2/14 (yay Valentine's Day hahaha). I will also post a few pictures by 2/14 to use as a baseline for any weight loss I achieve.

Until next time, work on being healthy everyone. It's the best we can do right now.