286 lbs.

"Really? Oh wow! WOW!"

Those were the words I heard from the nurse who was taking my weight, height, blood pressure and a variety of other stats during my pre-employment physical earlier this week. Really? Wow.

I have been overweight for almost as long as I can remember. In the fifth grade I remember hating my size 14 or 16 pants. I was in a new school, had an attitude that was completely foreign to my new environment and was already blossoming into womanhood. Add to it that I peaked in height in fifth grade and I was all around an oddball. Luckily, I have always been pretty resilient and confident. I still played sports and always had plenty of friends.

Regardless, my confidence has been wavering in recent months. The tipping point was definitely Monday when I had to endure the humiliation of a nurse who could not keep her two cents to herself. She even told me I was "obviously solid." Gee thanks! Granted, I do weigh a lot. I am uniformly large all around, but being only 5'4" my weight is extremely noticeable. It is becoming burdensome and making me feel uncomfortable every now and again. Being overweight is getting OLD!

So I am going to start changing my habits. I have very supportive friends and family who will help me along the way, with recipes and other suggestions. In addition, I plan to begin attending overeaters anonymous meetings ever week. There are obvious things I am doing wrong, and I know it. Over the next several months I will be changing the way I eat, exercising more, and hopefully reaping the benefits of hard work. Do not get me wrong - while weight loss is my external goal, I believe this change will help me build back my confidence, make me healthier overall, and help me realize that I really hold the key to my happiness in life.

Here are the things I am going to be working on:
1. Portion control
2. Walking/exercising regularly (3-5 times a week)
3. Healthy food choices
4. Confidence building and alternative ways to handle stressful situations other than eating.

Now lets take a minute to be realistic. I do not think pounds will be flying off of my body any time soon. What I do think is that my success will not only be measured in pounds lost, but also in skills and confidence gained. In an ideal world I would lose 120-130 pounds in the next 18 months or so. While this goal would still leave me with a BMI around 28(still overweight for my height), it would be a great improvement from my current BMI of 49. Unlike the people on popular weight loss television shows, I cannot exercise 3-6 hours a day, but I can easily go on walks in the evenings, go dancing on weekends, and park a little farther from the store when I go out.

So that is it for my first blog. It is about as honest as I can get. I don't think this will be perfect, but I am hoping for success. Any encouragement, recipes and tips will be greatly appreciated. I am sure I will need all the encouragement I can get.